Best Kill Ever?

[SLSduke82]

There's a good (funny) race here, but at the end. It's less of a kill story than a study on the condition of some humans. Just happened like 20 minutes ago, so I can pretty much remember everything which was said. Enjoy.

Okay, so, anyway, it's finally sunny here. Time to wash and wax the RL. However, upon awakening late (day off) I discover I'm out of wheel cleaner, tire shine, and wax. Make the two mile cruise to Pep Boys.

So I saunter through the aisles--oh how the APC stand calls to me! Neon windshield nozzels! Woo!--and gather my Ice polish (that stuff better work for $10), tire shine, and wheel cleaner. The Eagle One as, Jaguar said, can take stink off a whore.

Pretty mellow, enjoying the smell of new tires, I make my way to the register. Lo and behold a frumpy man taller than I with his jeans pulled to about his man-tits, in his forties, is writing a check.

A check? Huh? Oh, ya, they still exist.

A minute passes, then two. Three. No biggy. No rush. The female clerk my age, or younger, accepts his check. Runs it through the check-scanner.

(For those of you who don't work retail, the check scanner looks at the routing number and if there are ANY issues with the account, won't accept it. That's life. Use cash or a credit / debit card )

He's declined. A manager is called. I don't know the convo, but the clerk had to ask for another form of payment.

In which case frumpy-dumpty-man, shaped like an egg on two toothpicks, sees his chance to bully a girl! Things exit his mouth, like: ****, and ****, and ****. Ecetera. He throws his credit card at her. She just looks at him.

Okay, at this point, I feel my anger boiling. I've worked retail for 8 years, on and off, mostly on, including a stint at this Pep Boys. So as he's yelling, I say:

"Hey. Hey buddy."

He turns. "What?"

"Man, don't yell at her. It's not HER. It's the check company that does their scanning. If you want to yell, yell at a manager."

The clerk looks at me and smiles, saying without word: thanks.

The man debates his options. He's a little taller than me, but I've had a lot of free time the past couple months to do a decent bit of working out. Not that I'm threatening, but to his kind...

"What do YOU know?" he decides to ask, trying to convey anger but not the desire to fight.

"Well," I said and remembered everything I know about writing checks, "what happens is that machine there"--I point--"checks your routing number against a database. It sees if you've written too many or too few checks. That's what it does. Do you use that account often?"

"To pay my mortage."

"Where there you go," I say, "once a month. Try using it more if you want to write checks." At which point I slide his debit card toward him and point at the swiping machine. "So go ahead and pay with that."

I stunned him into silence, which he breaks to mumble and pay. He gets his receipt and hurries from the store.

The clerk again thanks me and we just chat about assholes. The usual.

Not done, yet. Out in the parking lot, I see him hopping into his Nissan Frontier. He casts me an evil glance. Whatever. I put him in place. Maybe he'll think twice.

Well, he ends up behind me at the light to exit the lot. We both hang a left. He's first behind me, then decides to shift into the left lane to attempt to show this lowly twenty-something in a Saturn--haha, a SATURN--who's the real man.

I left him draw even with my door then do a second drop. Gone.

He drops back into the right lane, and we go on our way. Me, merrily, he, owned.

Oh, what a day.

[Freakazoid]

lmao nice job jon

[TheWastedYears]

That was an entertaining read. WTG.

[rlinbatonrouge]

So was the clerk hot or not? Dammit! I hate suspense.

[SLSduke82]

Originally Posted by rlinbatonrouge

So was the clerk hot or not? Dammit! I hate suspense.

No not really. Too many facial piercings. Looks like she lost a wrestling match in a jewerly store. Not my type.

Nice, though. I hardly ever want to hit / slap people, but he needed slapped. Or laid. Maybe both.

[Hyperion]

You are a hero to the customer service industry. I don't know why so many ppl feel that they're goin' to get better assistance by being an ass, especially when it's not the fault of the person helping them.

[danigurl1978]

A Frontier... bwahahahahahahaha!

o.k. sorry done now...good job.

[Sp00ner]

Originally Posted by SLSduke82

No not really. Too many facial piercings. Looks like she lost a wrestling match in a jewerly store. Not my type.

Nice, though. I hardly ever want to hit / slap people, but he needed slapped. Or laid. Maybe both.

Wait, wait, wait, facial piercings and she works at an auto parts store????? Is she married? Does she need a good man like me? I hope my GF never reads this over my shoulder!

[XeroState]

Nice story and good job in saying something. Working in customer service for the past 3 years [allbeit in a grocery store, but a grocery store with many upset customers in it...lol] has shown me what people will do...it's just stupid. It's not the cashier's fault your debit/credit card won't work, shut up, deal with it. I have stood up for someone, although I knew them, and I would do it again if the customer goes too far.

[Sp00ner]

I worked at Starbucks for 4 years!