Why Im So Messed Up! Please Read!

[zvillepimp1982]

First off Ill admit that im a lieing ******* thats the truth. Sometimes I cant help it though. I have a bad psychological condition known as Aspergers Syndrome. Aspergers syndrome is a form of autism, yet it is classified as high functioning Autism in that the people that it affect always have well above average IQs. However waht this syndrome does do is create sever problems with social situations for the person that has, such as saying inaapropriate things in conversations, making up stories, or simply just wanting to avoid social situations all together.
Now Im not on here asking any of you to feel sorry for me, but at certain points in my life it has been hell because of this syndrome Ive even attempted suicide at one point because things got so bad. I was always the social outkast in school and other social groups because it is difficult for kids at a young age to relate to somone with this syndrome. To this day I still really dont have any friends, I have trouble keeping a job because I still have problems reading peoples emotions and dealing with social interaction. Truth be told I really hate myself and I hate my life. Ive seen people I went to HS with graduate college get jobs get married etc.. the thought of which makes me want to kill myself Im mean Im 23 years old and Ive accomplished absolutely nothing in my life and I doubt that I ever will. The only thing I have the keeps me sane is my Girlfriend sarah she is great because unlike other people she took the time to look through the problems i have and find the real me. I want to marry this girl buit im fearful that i will not be able to provide us I just dont know what to do.
In conclusion I appologize to everyone on here. I didnt mean anything I wrote on here earlier. Ive learned my lesson. Luckily, my father was able to explain my psychological problems to the dealer and the problem was resolved. Once agan Im sorry to all!

[yrethguad]

Having someone that loves you for who you are is the best thing you can have. When I was younger I never thought I would find that person, but it turns out she was there the whole time.

Well, just about.

Talk to her about it. If she's there for you, then she's there. Cherish that and keep it sacred.

Suicide is a coward's way out. Remember, someone needs you. You may not know it, or who they are, but they do. Do you have any siblings? I went 12 years before I was given a younger brother. I don't have any direct siblings, they're all half-brothers and sisters, or step-brothers and sisters. So, I got two younger brothers, and they're roughly a year apart. One I see often, the other I don't, and can't, since we live quite a ways away. The one close I know for a fact looks up to me. It makes me stand taller and think a little safer. I talk to him often, and keep him steering in the right direction. He's got the same problems in school that I had. I guess that's what happens when your parents grow up in the '70s.... Or maybe it's in the genes.

You and I are both victims to a syndrome, but mine is a bit different. I have tourette's syndrome. You want to talk about social problems? Try getting a job by cursing out the interviewer!!! Ok, ok, I've never done that. I have a mild case. I did have social problems in my earlier years, or at least I feel I did. It all comes back to having that person that loves you for who you are. Not just person, but people. Family. If you don't have friends, make new ones. There's a lot of people in the world. There's a lot of friends to make. I'm stuck with goofyguy..... Let's see if I can keep him from influencing my kid......... Wish me luck...

Hang in there, man.

[SatredL]

Originally Posted by yrethguad

Having someone that loves you for who you are is the best thing you can have. When I was younger I never thought I would find that person, but it turns out she was there the whole time.

Well, just about.

Talk to her about it. If she's there for you, then she's there. Cherish that and keep it sacred.

Suicide is a coward's way out. Remember, someone needs you. You may not know it, or who they are, but they do. Do you have any siblings? I went 12 years before I was given a younger brother. I don't have any direct siblings, they're all half-brothers and sisters, or step-brothers and sisters. So, I got two younger brothers, and they're roughly a year apart. One I see often, the other I don't, and can't, since we live quite a ways away. The one close I know for a fact looks up to me. It makes me stand taller and think a little safer. I talk to him often, and keep him steering in the right direction. He's got the same problems in school that I had. I guess that's what happens when your parents grow up in the '70s.... Or maybe it's in the genes.

You and I are both victims to a syndrome, but mine is a bit different. I have tourette's syndrome. You want to talk about social problems? Try getting a job by cursing out the interviewer!!! Ok, ok, I've never done that. I have a mild case. I did have social problems in my earlier years, or at least I feel I did. It all comes back to having that person that loves you for who you are. Not just person, but people. Family. If you don't have friends, make new ones. There's a lot of people in the world. There's a lot of friends to make. I'm stuck with goofyguy..... Let's see if I can keep him from influencing my kid......... Wish me luck...

Hang in there, man.

^^ What he said and more. Z, the good Lord put EVERYONE here for a purpose, even if that purpose is just to be loved by someone else. Suicide defeats that purpose. Stick around for a while ask God with your Heart to give you guidence(sp?) in you life, in your daily routine, and you will find peace. I've found that if you do whatever you do for His glory He will bless you time and time again. I wil pray for you as I do for anyone facing hardships. Family now is THE most important thing to you now , they are your support group and God is your most powerful friend.

[zvillepimp1982]

thank you all for your support!

[SatredL]

Z, we are here to lift each other up, no matter what.

[zvillepimp1982]

Today could be a good day I just found out that a local dealership here in town wants to interview me for a potential sales position if I get this it would be great I have sol cars in the past but I quit to go back to school cars are my passion and I think a job like this would be perfect for me if I can land this then maybe I can find marry my girl and get a place of my own what is the saying something like its always darkest before the dawn well wish me luck everybody

[SatredL]

Go get 'em tiger!!!!

[jonnybredline]

Keep your head up bud. You and everyone hear has they're place in this world. These guys are right, later in life you will know this is a for a reason. You will ultimatly be stronger than most for the things that have happened in your life. Believe me it will all be a distant memorey. My prayers are with you.

[pclear9061]

i understand man,

i wouldnt be here today if it wasnt for my wife. we went to HS together and we just knew of eachother in freshman year, then soph. year i had a gf that lasted until the start of junior year when i found out that for over 6 months she was cheating on me and doing HARDCORE drugs (crank, coke, etc and she was only 15) i broke down soo far that i could hardly walk let alone actually think straight, i didnt want to be in this world with this shit happening so i started to get into pills. i know i didnt really start off with the right shit but i started takeing large amounts of motrin. im talking about ~150+ 200mg pills in a 30 min period (thats when it hit the worst) i would have taken the whole bottle but jessica, my wife now, stopped me. even tho we wernt really friends or anything she took the bottle outta my hands and it took her awhile but she got me outta the deepest hole i was ever in. with her doing this we started dateing without even really asking and bam now were married. who would have known. you have someone that is there for you night and day right? thats the best feeling in the world knowing that if you ever feel down you have her right there for your every need. to the best of luck with you and remember, you always have friends even tho they might not show it all the time. altho you might only read words on a screen and not meet face to face, you can always still consider them a friend. a friend is really just someone there in a time of need and to be supportive when needed and can always need that in return sometime.

[Horvat26]

Sorry if this is a little late, but hang in there. Things seem to be looking up for you, and remember that as someone above posted, we are all here for a purpose. What's confusing is figuring out what that is, and then doing it correctly. In my opinion, life is nothing but the ability to adapt. We are constantly given choices, and it is up to us to determine which one will be the best. Unfortunatly, when we do proceed with a choice, we do not know what the outcome will be. Everything you do is a risk, and all you can do is all you can do. We are all dealt a card in life and we just have to deal with it. I look back upon my life, and felt as if the world just wanted me to fail. When I was 18, I had the opportunity to sign with either the Seattle Mariners, or the Atlanta Braves. I turned it down because I didn't feel the signing bonus was enough to risk forgoing college. I ended up choosing UCLA, after weeding out about 4 other choices. Now, what happened to me later was that I had some injuries that hindered me when I was 17. I was stepped on during a wild pickoff throw, and the first baseman broke many bones in my hand (I have a large bump because of the bones inability to heal). Anyway, my freshman year in college, we did a lot of batting practice. The constant movement caused me much pain, to the point to where I could barely hold my bat (34in, 31oz) with one hand. Next, the held the knob to low in my left hand to where it split another bone in my left hand. SO here I am with two damaged hands, and I have my left hand to which I had no nerve conduction to my pinky and ring finger. At the UCLA med center, they refused to work on these specific parts because I could loose all feeling there if something went wrong. I pleaded with them to try anyway, because baseball is all I knew for 18 years. Surgery did not happen, so I had to redshirt my freshman year. I played summer ball up north, learned a lot, and then returned to fall ball my sophmore year. I totally cleaned house with 2nd most HR's, doubles, and about 5th in avg. Totally smoking the juniors and seniors. But, the day before halloween of my sophmore year, our 5 coaches called me in the office to let me know that they had to cut me. They didn't even look me in the eye as they said this, and all I could reply was, "not to brag, but I am one of the best one's out here! I run a 6.8 60', have a strong arm, and our pitchers dread when I'm up at the plate!" They told me that I was a liability due to my previous injuries. As confused as I was, I understand their view. Like a man, I shook their hands and left the office. So, I now head to my oak locker and stare at my stall with my name and number (26) engraved. It took me 1.5 hours to clean it out, and nobody entered for that time. Guys would pop in and turn around. After I cleaned everything out, the equipment manager gave me a ride home, and I quickly threw in a dip and started playing 007. The rest of the night, almost everyone on the team stopped by and questioned me with "WTF!" A bunch of them talked to the coaches the next day on my behalf, which I didn't agree with, and got the same answer I did. My gf of 4 years broke up with me on Dec 23rd, totally crapping on my X-mas and b-day, jan 6. So, confused as I was, I ended up figuring things out. Now I'm 23, own 2 condo's, have a great .5 asian .5 hispanic girl (my fantasy girl) who absolutly digs me, and I couldn't be happier. But yeah man, you must take life as it happens because life likes to crap on you, but things do work themselves out. I cannot relate exactly with your situation, but it will get better. Sorry for the long read.
Marke